two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says “man, i can’t believe i blew thirty bucks in there”.
Imagine your OTP having a long-awaited reunion after not seeing each other for several years.
The Brazilian School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is a smattering of low-rise cottages hidden in the coastal forests of Bahia near a mid-sized bay where Senhor Cardoso’s martial arts students like to practice a fusion of defensive magic and capoeira (often to an audience of wide-eyed first-years), and build soaring sand castles to pass the time. Wands were introduced by immigrants and have grown in popularity with the diversification of the student body; however, the use of focal objects and organic magic still remain prominent. Students dress in demure robes throughout the year, and break out their flashiest clothing for Carnival during which there is an unofficial competition for the most creative clothing enchantments (glitter-burst charms are common, as are colour-shifting spells although they do tend to backfire and turn clothes an ugly medley of brown and vomit-yellow if the fabric doesn’t take well to enchantments).
WIZARDING SCHOOLS AROUND THE WORLD: AUSTRALIAOriginally located in Arnhem Land, The Australian College of Sorcery and Witchcraft was a sprawling campus of large huts that eventually coalesced into one single structure. The college detached from mainland Australia soon after British settlement in order maintain their practices and culture. Ever since, the school has been drifting haphazardly in the ocean, although it never strays far from the Australian coast for ancient magic keeps the school tethered to Australian soil. Every year, a team of witches and wizards must be employed to anchor the floating campus so students aren’t forced into a cat-and-mouse chase at the beginning of the year in order to attend school (a frustrating endeavour which often results in the postponing of classes due to a large number of absences). To students’ great enjoyment, various creatures (including the occasional mermaid) can often be found sunbathing around the perimeter of the campus which gently slopes into the water. Due to their exposure to unusually friendly oceanic creatures, the college boasts incredibly extensive courses in aquatic-life studies, and is held in high esteem by the international wizarding community for its innovations in water magic.
February 19th, 2013
#this face says #OOOOUCH THERE GOES ANOTHER CYCLIST INTO A TREE #SORRY ABOUT THIS GUYS IT’S JUST THEY KEEP TAKING AWAY THE SHIRTS THAT FIT #TALK TO SHIELD’S UNIFORM DIVISION #meanwhile there’s a whole secret society dedicated to keeping steve away from fitting clothes #they meet in a room lit only by a circle of candles #they swear to uphold their glorious work #they have infilterated hydra AND shield (tags by ifeelbetterer)
more bi dan headcanons bc eva kept talking about it last night and now im like in the mood
- gonna just jump straight to it. dan’s super proud of his dick sucking abilities (and just general oral sex abilities lbr. and also general sex abilities lbr some more). like he gets super defensive and has attempted to prove he’s good at sucking dick by going down on some guy in the middle of his college’s library
- one time someone’s like ‘suck my dick’ and dan’s just like yeah sure
- dan like 100% exploits his queerness ok. like he accuses people of homophobia if he doesn’t get his way and shit like that. and it’s like other queer people too which is the best part.
- he never really ‘came out’ like he’s not closeted or anything but like he didn’t sit his parents down and give some speech, never did the queer club thing, like he’s pretty casual about all the sexuality stuff.
- bc of this people get really confused when he mentions being bi. they’re like you’re into dudes??? and dan’s like ‘i do fuck them regularly so yeah i guess’
- also ok ive mentioned it in one of these before but the dream plot is 100% sth todo with gay marriage and like idk selina having to make a statement and then basically being like ‘ofc i support gay marriage my [whatever dan even does] is bisexual’ and dan becomes a queer icon (which he’s awful at) and ppl will be like ‘you know your sexuality is being reduced to a statement right?’ and dan’s like ‘i don’t care. at all. i’ve been getting laid like 10x more. it’s great’
- idk like i just really wanna talk about this it’s So Important he is So Queer